Inane Product Warnings:

"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer."

Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant."

Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.

"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."

"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.

"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.

"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.

"Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.

"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.

"For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.

"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.

"Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.

"Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.

"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.

"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.

"Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.

"Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.

"May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.

"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer